Why Aren’t You Having More Kids?

ad_2009_cm_sac_kingdom_questIn case you didn’t figure it out from the title of this post, I am about to wander in to dangerous territory. Even the most socially adept individuals break into a cold sweat when you try to talk about the number of children they plan to have–especially if you encourage them to try for “just one more.”

Just having come out of a distinct college culture (I know, I know; we left Greenville, SC nearly two years ago–but I’m still a graduate student at a seminary), I remember coming to the conclusion that my wife and I should refrain from having children until we were in a good financial position, I had finished my education, and we had spent some quality time together “as a couple.” That was pretty much the standard philosophy of most of the newlyweds who tied the knot around the same time as Mandy and I did. I now wonder whether that take on life borrowed more from the culture around us or from the teachings of Scripture.

There is an unspoken rule in middle-class, suburban America. Everyone knows that the American dream involves a large house, a pretty wife (handsome husband?), green grass, a white picket fence, and 2.5 children. The only problem is that no one told God.

I have difficulty getting around the fact that God says “children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Psa. 127:3), and “happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them” (v. 5a, italics mine). It seems pretty clear that children are a good thing. Televisionland makes us think that children are nuisance, a financial drain, a headache, a disappointment, and an embarrassment. God says they’re a “reward.” Hmm. Who will we believe? For those of you who are breathing a sigh of relief that you aren’t parents yet: what would a couple who can’t have children say about your attitude? I’m just asking.

Maybe I’ll look back at these comments one day and write them off as the immature musings of an idealistic dad of a one-year-old. At that point, you can tell me that you told me so. For now, since God says that children are an inheritance from him, I’ve decided to ask Him to give me as many kids as Mandy and I can handle.

God knows what we can handle. He knows our financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual limits. I want Him to give me as much of a good thing as I can possibly stand within those God-ordained limits. Maybe one day I’ll wake up to reality, but for now, I don’t see things any other way.

Don’t take me the wrong way. I recognize that there are always mitigating factors, and that God gives wisdom to decide these issues on an individual basis. I don’t have anyone in mind in particular as I write this. My only question is, Why aren’t you having more kids? If you have a good reason, then praise God. I just want my attitude toward having children to be the same as God’s: “Children are an heritage from the Lord.”

Have you parents found this to be true? If so, why not write a comment and share how God has blessed your home through the great reward of having children.

One Response

  1. God absolutely knows what we can handle! Depsite financial difficulties, our children have always been well-fed, well-loved, and well-clothed. What is even more amazing, however, is seeing how raising kids is causing growth in my own walk with the Lord. First of all, I don’t want my kids to have the childhood I had. Don’t get me wrong, it was a fine time, but it certainly wasn’t godly. Knowing what I want for them causes many moments of pause in my actions to make sure that I setting an example of Christ for them.
    Secondly, I have been blessed/challenged with a rambunctious little boy. The Lord is continually using him to teach me about obedience, patience, and love. I can’t imagine what I would be like without the growth God has provided in these lessons.
    Lastly, being a first-generation Christian, I love knowing that my kids are being raised to boldly honor and glorify Christ in all that they do. Psalm 127:3 – the part about being “an heritage” always hits me in the heart, because it is a wake-up call to me as a dad to make sure that I am leaving my Christian heritage with them. That means, being in the Word, talking about spiritual things, and setting the example of Christ’s love, life, and leadership in all me and my family do.

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